THE 13 MOST INTERESTING THINGS ABOUT KATY PERRY'S "LAST FRIDAY NIGHT" VIDEO AND YES HULK SERIOUS

NOTE: THIS ARTICLE SHOULD HAVE BEEN FINISHED, LIKE, THREE WEEKS AGO, BUT WHATEVER. THE HILARIOUS PART THAT THE SONG ALREADY SEEM BE DRIFTING OFF THE POP CULTURE RADAR, WHICH JUST MAKE IT ALL THE MORE AMUSING TO DIG INTO. SO ON DAY WHERE “A DANCE WITH DRAGONS” COME OUT AND PEOPLE GEARING UP FOR DARK KNIGHT TEASER/HARRY POTTER, HULK ENTREAT YOU WITH TEENYBOPPER ANALYSIS. AND SO AS THEY SAY: “AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT”:

KATY PERRY’S “LAST FRIDAY NIGHT” VIDEO

… HULK LOVE STUFF LIKE THIS.

WHAT?! HULK SERIOUS! WHY HULK LOVE THIS CRAP? BECAUSE IT UNEQUIVOCAL CHANCE TO STARE INTO THE ID OF POP CULTURE VOID…  PERHAPS CALLING IT “VOID” BIT HYPERBOLIC. BUT POP CULTURE VALUES AND BEHAVIOR, ESPECIALLY THOSE THAT LACK SELF-AWARENESS = A FASCINATING THING TO HULK.  YES IT INSIPID, BUT FROM A SOCIOLOGICAL AND PSYCHOLOGICAL ANGLE, THERE SO MUCH HULK CAN GET FROM WHAT/HOW/WHY HUMAN BEINGS MAKE PRODUCTS OF NAKED COMMERCE AND HOW HUMANS RESPOND TO IT.

FOR EXAMPLE, HULK LOVE: LOOKING AT THE BATSHIT EDITORIAL DECISIONS OF US MAGAZINE, DABBLING IN THE EXACT KINDS OF SNARKY ASIDES E!, PERUSING THE COMMENTS SECTION ON GOSSIP SITES, AND FINDING THE FUNNIEST KINDS OF QUESTIONS POSTED ON YAHOO ANSWERS. NOW, IN NOT LIKE HULK ACTUALLY ENJOYING THIS STUFF. HULK NOT ENGAGING IT ON THE “GUILTY PLEASURE” LEVEL. HULK JUST TAKE A FEW MINUTES LOOK OVER, THINK OF IMPLICATIONS AND MOVE ON. MOST THIS STUFF NOT EVEN GOOD FOR CHEAP LAUGH BECAUSE REALLY IT NOT FUNNY. HULK JUST FIND IT INTERESTING. IT TERRIBLY EASY JUST DISMISS THE PEOPLE BEHIND THIS STUFF AS STUPID AND MOVE ON. EVEN IF IT REALLY EASY AND PROBABLY BETTER FOR SANCTITY OF MIND IF JUST MOVE ON.

IT JUST THERE ALWAYS MERIT TO UNDERSTANDING WHY ANYONE BEHAVE WAY THEY DO. IT RARELY SIMPLE. PEOPLE NO OPERATE BY “THIS + THIS = THAT” MODELS OF MATH. ANY GIVEN REACTION FUELED BY NINE DIFFERENT SIMULTANEOUS IDEOLOGIES CONFLICTING WILDLY WITH MOMENTARY SNAPS BETWEEN SYNAPSES, GUT REACTIONS, AND FREE ASSOCIATIONS. SO THE LESS SELF-AWARE WE ARE, THE MORE OUR WORDS + BEHAVIOR JUST VOMITED OUT OF OUR BODIES.

AND SOMETIMES IT GLORIOUS, GLORIOUS VOMIT THAT REVEAL LOTS OF STRANGE PSYCHOLOGIES.

IT FASCINATING.

SO HERE, HULK PRESENT THE 13 MOST FASCINATING THINGS OF KATY PERRY’S “LAST FRIDAY NIGHT” VIDEO:

1. WHAT IT SAY ABOUT KATY PERRY

PERHAPS, THE BEST THING SHE HAVE OFFER = HER BOOBS. HULK ACKNOWLEDGE THIS APPEAR TO BE THE MOST SEXIST THING HULK EVER SAID, SO HULK DESPERATELY GOING TRY APPROPRIATE THIS BY END OF ESSAY. FIRST OFF, HULK NOT TALKING ABOUT KATY PERRY THE PERSON, HULK TALKING ABOUT KATY PERRY THE POP CULTURE ENTITY. AND HULK GOING MAKE ARGUMENT THAT HER POP CULTURE ENTITY A DEEPLY CONFUSED AND A-PERSONAL THING. IT NOT HELP THAT KATY’S POP MUSIC PART OF THE COMMON TREND TO MAKE ALL MUSIC AS EASILY DIGESTIBLE AS POSSIBLE. THOSE WHO THINK THIS NEW TREND AND IT SOMEHOW WORSE THAN WHAT MADONNA’S 80′S MUSIC LIKE, OR DISCO, OR THE HOST BEATLES IMITATORS… THEY ALL WRONG. THE MUSIC INDUSTRY BEHAVE LIKE A BUSINESS AFTER ALL AND THEY BEEN DOING THAT SINCE JUST ABOUT FOREVER. BUT PERHAPS PERRY’S NAKED COMMERCIAL MOTIVATION SORT OF ADMIRABLE (LIKE HOW LADY GAGA MAKE INSIPID SONGS PURELY AS DELIVERY DEVICE FOR HER INTEREST IN CRAZY ART DIRECTION). IT IS NOT, HOWEVER, VALUABLE.  THE VALUE OF GOOD LOW-AIMING POP SONG HAVE A HALF-LIFE RIVALING ASTATINE (i). SO WHAT ELSE KATY PERRY OFFER? SHE CAN’T REALLY SING. SHE CAN’T REALLY DANCE. IS SHE JUST “A PERSONALITY?” BUT DOES SHE HAVE A SENSE OF GOOD FUN? UN-DIVA-LIKE BEHAVIOR? GIRL POWER? SHE NOT TRULY HAVE ANY OF THOSE. SHE FLIRT WITH THOSE THINGS, BUT THERE DEEP PROBLEMS IN THEIR EXPRESSION. MOVING ON:

2. KATY PERRY’S ACTING

KATY PERRY NOT AN ACTRESS. HULK KNOW THIS. BUT HER “ACTING” NONE THE LESS PUT ON FULL DISPLAY HERE. IT NOT “SING THE SONG AND LOOK PRETTY FOR THE CAMERA,” THIS VIDEO INTENDED TO BE FULLY REALIZED STORY, SPECIFICALLY WITH THIS ABSURD CREATION OF THE  “KATHY BETH TERRY” CHARACTER. WHAT INTERESTING THAT PERRY SEEM HAVE ABSOLUTELY ZERO CONTROL OVER WHAT SHE DOING. ACTING LARGELY ABOUT CONTROL AND FOCUS. A DIRECTOR AND ACTOR NEGOTIATE  A FINE LINE BETWEEN TWO. AND EVERYTHING ABOUT THE CREATION OF THIS CHARACTER SEEM… CONFUSED. FOR ONE, PERRY PROJECTS SILLY WITHOUT ACTUALLY BEING FUNNY. ONE CAN APPRECIATE THE ENERGY AND HOW SHE ABSOLUTELY PLOW INTO THIS WITH RECKLESS ABANDON, BUT THAT NOT EVEN CLOSE TO ENOUGH. THERE ABSOLUTELY NO CONTROL TO ANY THING SHE DOING. NO THINK CONTROL MATTERS EVEN IN MUSIC VIDEOS? HULK ARGUE CONTROL OF ONE’S BODY/EXPRESSIONS CRITICAL TO LONG LASTING SUCCESS. THINK ABOUT DAVE GROHL’S CAREER AND HOW TRANSFERRED BIEING WELL-MEANING AND GOOD HUMORED INTO WONDERFUL PUBLIC PERSONA. HE ONLY DID SO BECAUSE HAD COMPLETE SELF-AWARENESS AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, CONTROL. AND WHEN PLUGGED INTO A SITUATION HE COULD BE GENUINELY FUNNY. WHETHER IT EMINEM’S RAGE, MADONNA’S SEXUALITY, AND BECK’S ODDBALL SENSIBILITIES, THEIR ABILITY TO EXECUTE THE IDEAS BEHIND THESE IDEAS = CRITICAL. KATY PERRY, MEANWHILE, PROJECT “FUN” AND “SEXINESS” BUT IT NEVER TRULY REGISTER AS EITHER OF THOSE. IT JUST THE IDEA OF THEM.

LUCKILY THE ATTACHED TO A CATCHY BEAT AND PERHAPS THIS ENOUGH FOR IT GET BY.(i-a)

AND YES THAT PROACTIV COMMERCIAL ABOVE HIGHLIGHT ALL THE THINGS HULK TALKING ABOUT.

... WHAT

3. THAT REBECCA BLACK IN IT

HOW DID REBECCA BLACK HAPPEN? UNTIL THIS POINT RIGHT NOW, HOW SHE GET HERE? SHE MAKE TERRIBLE VIDEO HER MOTHER BOUGHT FOR HER WITH THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS. PEOPLE HAD PERFECTLY APPROPRIATE REACTION OF “HOLY CRAP THIS TERRIBLE. GOOD GOD!” AND SENT IT AROUND INTERNET TO GAWK. BUT THEN SOMETHING WEIRD HAPPEN. SHE STUCK. HOW DID SHE TURN THAT INTO SOMETHING MORE THAN THE OBLIGATORY 15 MINUTES? WHAT MADE KATY PERRY AND THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO WANT INCLUDE HER IN THIS VIDEO? YOU KNOW, BEYOND THE “FRIDAY” TITULAR COMPARISON. SERIOUSLY WHAT MADE THEM? WHAT MAKE THIS A “GET”? WHAT MAKE THIS FUNNY? WHY GIVE HE CACHE? HULK ARGUE THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO NO REALIZE WHAT THEY EVEN REALLY DOING HERE. THAT THEY NOT SIMPLY CAPITALIZING ON THE RISE OF HER POP CULTURE PROMINENCE, THEY ACTIVELY CREATING IT. WORSE, THEY LEGITIMIZING IT. THEY IMPLICIT IN CRATING HER ONGOING CELEBRITY.(ii) AND NOW SHE APPARENTLY HAVE NEW SONG COMING OUT SOON TO BOOT. WHY THIS SUCH A BIG DEAL? WHY AUGMENING REBECCA BLACK’S LIFE IN THE SPOTLIGHT SOMETHING TO BE CONSCIOUS OF? IT BECAUSE:

4. REBECCA BLACK = 13 YEARS OLD

13 YEAR OLD DUDE

AND THAT THE FUCKING RUB, RIGHT? SHE FUCKING 13 YEARS OLD. FIRST OFF, HULK CAN NO IMAGINE WHAT LIFE LIKE FOR 13 YEAR OLD IF THE ENTIRE GODDAMN WORLD LOOK AT YOU AND SAY YOU = THE NADIR OF WESTERN CULTURE. SECOND OF ALL, YOU ALREADY THE KIND OF PERSON WHOSE MOTHER WOULD PAY THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS FOR YOU TO MAKE TERRIBLE MUSIC VIDEO (HULK MEAN C’MON). AND THIRD OF ALL, NOW YOU BEING PROPPED UP AND CELEBRATED LIKE ACTUALLY ACCOMPLISHED SOMETHING OF DISTINCTION. SHE CRAVED THIS SORT OF ADULATION IN MAKING THAT VIDEO. GOT MOCKED MERCILESSLY FOR TRYING. AND NOW BEING REPAID WITH WHAT SHE WANTED IN FIRST PLACE. IT NOW LIKE ACTUALLY FAMOUS AND NOT INFAMOUS. SHE 13! AND AS FOR THE ON-SET LOGISTICS? TRUST HULK. HULK BEEN ON PLENTY MUSIC VIDEO SHOOTS. THEY NOT GOOD ENVIRONMENT FOR 13 YEAR OLDS. EVEN IF THEIR PARENTS RIGHT FREAKING THERE (NOT THAT YOU CAN REALLY TRUST THE PARENTS). THERE SEEM LIKE THERE A HUNDRED TEENS AND TONS MORE OLDER CREW ON THIS SHORT AND THAT REEK OF INSIDIOUSNESS. EVEN THOUGH SHE “MODESTLY” DRESSED, LOOK OVER AGAIN AND IN NO WAY IMPLIED SHE A 13 YEAR OLD GIRL IN THIS VIDEO… SORRY, HULK HAVE NO IDEA WHEN HULK BECAME AN OLD MAN, AND HULK NOT WANT TO IMPLY HULK HAVE SOME PATRIARCHAL “WOMEN MUST DRESS MORE BEFITTING WAY!” BENT. THAT NOT CASE AT ALL… THIS ONE JUST NOT FEEL RIGHT. SERIOUSLY, NO ONE FIND IT WEIRD TO BRING A 13 YEAR OLD GIRL INTO A VIDEO THAT ONLY ABOUT GETTING WAY-TOO-DRUNK AND OUT-OF-CONTROL AND HOW AWESOME THAT IS? MAYBE HULK JUST FORGETTING WHAT IT BE LIKE BE 13. WHATEVER HULK DOING AT TIME HULK SURE IT WAS STUPID AND LUCKILY IT NOT ON INTERNET.

AND IT TOTALLY WEIRD THAT THE 13 YEAR OLD GIRL WHO BORN IN 1997 GIVES THE 27 YEAR OLD KATY PERRY A MAKEOVER… IT JUST WEIRD.

5. THEIR IDEA OF “THE 80′S!” = SOMETHING TAKEN FROM A VAGUE OFF-HAND DESCRIPTION

THIS VIDEO APPARENTLY HAVE AN “80′S VIBE.” THE ONLY PROBLEM THAT THERE IDEA OF IDEA SEEM BE CONCOCTED FROM VARIOUS ANECDOTES AND LIKE 6 HISTORICAL PICTURES. HULK FINDING THIS MORE AND MORE COMMON AS PEOPLE BEING BORN AND EARLY 80′S SOMEHOW CHARGED WITH RECREATING THEIR CHILDHOOD. THEY WERE TOO YOUNG TOO PROCESS IT. AS RESULT, IT ALL COME OUT AS THIS WEIRD HYBRID OF THE LATE 80′S AND EARLY 90S (SERIOUSLY, KATY PERRY’S OUTFIT = SOOOOO 1991!). AND EVEN THOUGH THE MOVIE SEEM TO BE TAKING PLAYING 80′S VACUUM THEY USING MODERN DAY VIDEO GAME TECHNOLOGY? UNLESS THIS JUST A MODERN WORLD WHERE THE 80′S VALUED TO THE POINT OF REVERENCE. OR… OH NO, HULK GONE CROSS-EYED. FUCK LOGIC, BACK TO NONSENSICAL INFLUENCE… IF KATY PERRY WAS BORN IN 1984 THAT MAKE HER 3 YEARS OLD WHEN BOTH DEBBIE GIBSON POPULAR AND  THE LOST BOYS COME OUT. WHAT THE FUDGE? AND WAIT, DIDN’T KATY PERRY GROW UP ON GOSPEL MUSIC ANYWAY? WHOSE CHILDHOOD IS THIS?!??!

THIS WHOLE LACK OF UNDERSTANDING OF POPULAR HISTORY REMIND HULK OF THIS INCREDIBLE COMIC FROM THE PERRY BIBLE FELLOWSHIP (ONLY ONE OF THE BEST THINGS EVER):

AMAZING

IT NOT JUST PERRY BUT POP CULTURE AT LARGE. GOOGLE “80′S CLOTHES” AND YOU’LL SEE TONS OF SHIT FROM LIKE 1992.

WHICH BRING HULK TO SOMETHING AWESOME:

6. AS 80′S PARODY IT FEATURE BAND THAT BECOME POPULAR IN 1997

THIS SORT OF HULK’S FAVORITE PART OF THE VIDEO TIME-SPACE-CONTINUUM ERAS. HANSON WAS POPULAR IN 1997. AND FOR KATY PERRY AND HER LIKELY YOUNGER FANS THIS A MUCH MORE NOSTALGIA-APPROPRIATE-AIM. BUT SINCE 90′S NOSTALGIA NOT REALLY “FUN” IN SAME WAY(GO GRUNGE! GO ECONOMIC STABILITY! GO AIDS!) AND 80′S MUSIC MUCH MORE REFLECTIVE OF THE CURRENT POP SENSIBILITY, WE TREATED TO HANSON BEING LUMPED IN WITH THE 80′S. HULK IMAGINE IT THEM SAYING “WHO GIVE A SHIT REALLY? IT JUST THE PAST!”

… GOD HANSON KIDS GOT OLD.

7 CORY FELDMAN’S COMPLETE BREAK FROM REALITY STILL SEEM INTACT

HULK WORRIED WE MIGHT HAVE PROVIDED SOME SEMBLANCE OF COHERENCY, BUT THANKFULLY HE STILL SEEM OPERATING ON ANOTHER PLANE OF EXISTENCE… AND UGH THAT LOST BOYS REFERENCE… UGH

8. HULK DIDN’T KNOW THERE ANOTHER “KEVIN MCHALE”

HE APPARENTLY THE WHEELCHAIR KID FROM GLEE. THE FACT THAT SOMEONE CAN JUST SAY “OH KEVIN MCHALE IN THE NEW KATY PERRY VIDEO!” AND IT NOT THIS GUY:

SOMETHING THAT TOTALLY DUMBFOUNDING TO HULK. SERIOUSLY. FOR SHIT SAKE, NO PRETEND HULK SHOULD KNOW WHICH KEVIN MCHALE THEY TALKING ABOUT. HE ONE OF THE BEST LOW-POST PLAYERS EVER! AND FUCK, IF IT 80′S THEMED VIDEO THEN BASKETBALL’S KEVIN MCHALE TOTALLY-IN-PLAY IF KENNY G ALSO IN SAID VIDEO.

9. YES, KENNY G IN SAID VIDEO

BELIEVE IT OR NOT, THIS CAMEO AND THE CALLING OF HIM “UNCLE KENNY” REALLY = THE ONLY THING THAT FEEL RIGHT IN ENTIRE VIDEO… GO FIGURE.

10. THE LYRICS TO SONG

HERE ARE THE COMPLETE LYRICS TO “LAST FRIDAY NIGHT” HULK GOING LET THEM SPEAK FOR ITSELF:

There’s a stranger in my bed,
There’s a pounding my head
Glitter all over the room
Pink flamingos in the pool
I smell like a minibar
DJ’s passed out in the yard
Barbie’s on the barbeque

There’s a hickie or a bruise
Pictures of last night
Ended up online
I’m screwed
Oh well
It’s a black top blur
But I’m pretty sure it ruled

Last Friday night
Yeah we danced on tabletops
And we took too many shots
Think we kissed but I forgot

Last Friday night
Yeah we maxed our credit cards
And got kicked out of the bar
So we hit the boulevard

Last Friday night
We went streaking in the park
Skinny dipping in the dark
Then had a menage a trois
Last Friday night
Yeah I think we broke the law
Always say we’re gonna stop-op
Whoa-oh-oah

This Friday night
Do it all again
This Friday night
Do it all again

Trying to connect the dots
Don’t know what to tell my boss
Think the city towed my car
Chandelier is on the floor
With my favorite party dress
Warrants out for my arrest
Think I need a ginger ale
That was such an epic fail

BRIDGE

CHORUS

This Friday night
Do it all again
Do it all again
This Friday night
Do it all again
Do it all again
This Friday night

T.G.I.F.
T.G.I.F.
T.G.I.F.
T.G.I.F.
T.G.I.F.
T.G.I.F.

CHORUS

Last Friday night
Yeah I think we broke the law
Always say we’re gonna stop
Oh-whoa-oh
This Friday night
Do it all again

… OKAY.

FIRST OFF HULK CAN JUST ESTABLISH THAT THIS THE ODE TO THE OUT OF CONTROL YOUNG FEMALE WHO PARTY TOO MUCH, MAX OUT CREDIT CARDS, GET BLACKOUT DRUNK, HAVE THREESOMES, AND GET KICKED OUT OF ESTABLISHMENTS, AND SEEMINGLY A COMPLETE WRECK… AND KNOW WHAT? THAT FINE. THE IDEA ITSELF NOT SOMETHING THAT INHERENTLY BAD. HULK NOT THINK THE LYRICS HAVE BE THIS PARAGON OF GOODNESS OR MORALITY. IN FACT, THIS SORT OF GLORIFICATION OF DEBAUCHERY THE EXACT KIND OF ATTITUDE THAT HULK WOULD HAVE LIKELY EMBRACED WHEN YOUNG HULK… BUT HULK JUST WANT LOOK AT THE TOTAL PICTURE. AND NO, HULK NOT SAYING THIS CORRUPTING OUR CHILDREN OR SOME NONSENSE. BY TOTAL PICTURE, HULK MEAN LISTEN TO THE TONE OF THE SONG AND VIDEO, THE NEON DESIGNS, THE FUN ATMOSPHERE, THE OPTIMISTIC BEAT… AND THEN COMPARE TO THE LYRICS ABOVE… THE SONG = COMPLETELY DISHONEST.

AND THAT WHAT ACTUALLY BOTHERING HULK. IT FUCKING DUPLICITOUS. SELLING DEBAUCHERY STRAIGHT UP SEEM FINE. OUR CULTURE EMBRACE DEBAUCHERY FOR HOST OF REASONS. HULK JUST NOT LIKE WHEN IT BEING SNEAKY. IT EVEN TOOK HULK A FEW LISTENS TO ACTUALLY HEAR LYRICS AND BY THAT POINT, THE SONG ALREADY INGRAINED. IT BECOME BOTH EASILY ACCEPTABLE AND EASILY DIGESTIBLE MANTRA. NO EXAGGERATION, IT ABSOLUTELY SELLING DEBAUCHERY TO THE ICARLY CROWD.

THINK ABOUT LIKE THIS: IDEBBIE GIBSON WROTE SONGS THAT SOUND LIKE KATY PERRY SONGS, BUT HER SONGS WERE JUST ABOUT BOYFRIENDS AND CRUSHES AND SCHOOL AND SHIT… THEN WHY KATY PERRY SONGS WRITING SONGS THAT SOUND LIKE DEBBIE GIBSON SONGS, BUT THEY ABOUT FUCKING SHIT UP IN POST-21 LIFESTYLE?

11. THE WHOLE THING ENTIRELY INDICATIVE OF HULK’S PROBLEMS WITH MTV

MTV THESE DAYS = BORDERLINE SCHIZOPHRENIC. HULK NOT EVEN SURE PEOPLE CAN REMEMBER THE DAYS WHEN MTV WAS AN ACTUAL PLACE FOR BOTH COOL AND SOMEWHAT PROGRESSIVE CONTENT. IT STARTED AS QUASI-NOBEL EXPERIMENT, A NEW TOOL TO SOMEHOW APPROXIMATE THINGS HAPPENING MUSICAL CULTURE. IT WAS RUN BY YOUNG PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY FELT LIKE THEY CONTRIBUTING TO SOMETHING ALTERNATIVE AND INTERESTING. BUT LIKE ALL THINGS IT GOT SUBLIMATED INTO PURE NAKED COMMERCE. SOMEWHERE IN THE LATE 90S THEY DISCOVERED THE TWEEN CASH COW AND NEVER LOOKED BACK. BUT MTV ASSUMED A MUCH DARKER ROLE OF SHOVING A PROJECTED ADULT-MINDED ADOLESCENCE ON THE TWEEN CROWD. IN ORDER TO BE DIGESTED BY YOUNG AUDIENCE, MTV HAD FIGURE OUT WAY TO BOTH PLACATE AND ENTICE A YOUNG AUDIENCE. SOMETIMES THEY JUST GO BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN DIRTY AND YOUTH-AIMED SENSIBILITIES (WATCH THE MTV MOVIE AWARDS, WHICH CAN BE UTTERLY FILTHY AND YET DOWNRIGHT CATER THE TOPICAL CHOICES TO 11 YEAR OLDS). BUT MORE OFTEN THEY JUST PRESENT ADULT STUFF WITH A YOUTHFUL AIMED PACKAGE. WHICH MEAN MTV BASICALLY ONE BIG ENTENDRE.

ONE OF HULK’S FAVORITE COMICS, NORM MACDONALD, HATE DOUBLE ENTRENDRES AND HAVE INTERESTING TAKE ON THEM. HE FIND THEM COMPLETELY DISHONEST JOKES. IT JUST LIKE WHAT HULK SAY ABOUT MTV. WHICH MEAN IT NO SURPRISE THAT NORM’S FAVORITE VERSION OF A JOKE WHEN THE SET UP AND THE PUNCH LINE THE SAME EXACT THING. FOR EXAMPLE, NORM RECENTLY JOKED (AND FORGIVE HULK’S LACK OF BETTER SET-UP) THAT “THE WEC AND UFC MERGING TOGETHER TO CREATE NEW SPORT. IT WILL BE CALLED ‘MURDER‘”… IT THE ABILITY TO FIND HUMOR IN WHAT ALREADY BEING EXPRESSED AND IT THE OPPOSITE OF ENTENDRE. IT GET TO THE DIFFERENCE OF PROCESS. NORM ALWAYS WONDER HOW WELL “WILL AND GRACE” WOULD HAVE WORKED WITH OLDER AUDIENCE IF HE JACK SAID “YEAH, I JUST FUCKED THAT GUY IN THE ASS.” HIS MOM WOULD PROBABLY STOP LIKING THE SHOW EVEN THOUGH IT SAYING THE EXACT SAME THING. AND GUESS WHAT? HULK’S GAY FRIENDS SAY BLUNT REALISTIC THINGS TO HULK ALL THE TIME(iii) THEY NO GO AROUND TALKING IN PG-13 FRIENDLY ENTRENDRES. THEY DO SO BECAUSE IT HONEST AND REAL AND FUNNY AND WE FRIENDS. IT HUMANE.

ENTENDRES = A WORK AROUND, BUT THEY NOT HUMANE.

AND THIS VIDEO + MTV = ONE BIG ENTENDRE.(iv)

12. THE VIDEO SET UP A STORY AND THEN PETER OUT AND SAY WEIRD THINGS

SO THE VIDEO SET UP VERY FAMILIAR STORY, BUT THE NERD WHO LOVE KATY PERRY NOT GIVEN A HAPPY ENDING WE EXPECT. IN FACT, AFTER THE NERD PUNCH OUT THE JOCK, KATY PERRY PASS OUT RIGHT BEFORE HIM. THE NERD WALK AWAY IN SADNESS, SHAKING HIS HEAD. KATY AWAKE THE NEXT MORNING IN A CONFUSED TIZZY. AND PROMPTLY SHE SEXUALLY ASSAULT THE NAKED JOCK NEXT TO HER BY FEELING HIS JUNK WHEN HE PASSED OUT…

THIS FASCINATE HULK. YES, IT SORT OF IMPLIED THERE GOING TO BE MORE TO THIS “STORY” WITH THE NERD GUY, CAUSE AFTER ALL THIS KATHY BETH TERRY CHARACTER SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DESERVING OF ITS OWN SERIES OF VIDEOS CAUSE IT’S THAT AMAZING!… UGH.  THE UNDERLYING MESSAGE NOT JUST “TERRIBLE” IN MORAL SENSE, IT SEEM BE IMPLYING THINGS FAR MORE WEIRD. LIKE GETTING PASSOUT DRUNK WILL ALLOW YOU TO WAKE UP AND GET TO DELIGHT IN SOME NAKED ASSHOLE’S GORGEOUS BODY? OR LETTING A 13 YEAR OLD GET RID OF YOUR BRACES AND DRESS YOU PRETTY WILL GET YOU HIT ON BY HOT GUYS. IT NOT LITERALLY AIM SAY THESE THINGS BUT THAT WHAT IT SAYING. OR..

YOU KNOW WHAT? FORGET ABOUT IT…

13. ACTUALLY, THE VIDEO HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TRYING SAY

THIS WHERE THE WHOLE RAMPAGING, PSYCHO-SEXUAL, NON-AWARE ID THING COME IN. THE VIDEO NOTHING MORE THAN A FREE ASSOCIATIVE HODGE PODGE OF IDEAS, IMAGES, MOTIFS, AND RECYCLED STORIES THAT EDITED TOGETHER WITHOUT ANY SENSE OF COHESION. IT JUST TRYING TO APPROXIMATE THE VALUES OF THE SONG (DRINKING, FUCKING, NOT CARING) INTO A PACKAGE THAT DIGESTIBLE AND HAVING ABSOLUTELY NO UNDERSTANDING OF THEM.

CONCLUSION! – BACK TO KATY PERRY AGAIN

GOD THOSE = VACANT EYES...

HULK NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT THE “THING” THAT KATY PERRY HAVE TO TRULY OFFER. MADONNA AND LADY GAGA HAD THOSE TANGIBLE QUASI-ARTISTIC QUALITIES. BEYONCE HAVE GENUINE SASS AND A SET OF PIPES. ADELE HAVE SENSE OF GRACE AND GRAVITAS. WHAT DOES KATY PERRY HAVE?

AGAIN IT COME BACK TO BOOBS. PLEASE. HULK REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY NOT WANT COME OFF AS SEXIST, HULK TRYING MAKE POINT ABOUT HER CULTURAL IDENTITY. AND THAT POINT THAT THE ONLY THING PEOPLE SEEM CONSISTENTLY FOCUS ON, TIME AND TIME AGAIN = HER BOOBS… OF COURSE THIS BAD, BUT HULK ARGUE IT BECAUSE THERE NOTHING ELSE MORE DISTINCT THAN THAT SINGULAR FACET OF HER BODY TO CHANGE THE CONVERSATION. YES, IT INSIPID. HULK KNOW. AND AGAIN, HULK NOT KNOW KATY PERRY THE PERSON = INSIPID. SHE COULD TOTALLY BE FINE AND SMART AND GREAT AND AWESOME, BUT KATY PERRY THE POP CULTURE ENTITY SOMETHING DIFFERENT. THERE NOTHING SINGULARLY COHESIVE TO ELEVATE HER TO SOMETHING ELSE: HER ENTITY A LOOSE, FREE ASSOCIATION COLLECTION OF OTHER THINGS PEOPLE LIKE: NUGGETS OF IDEAS AND SEXUALITY AND ALL THAT. BUT NONE OF THEM STRONG ENOUGH TO DEFINE HER PERSONALITY (THE WAY MADONNA’S SEXUALITY DEFINED HER MUCH MORE THAN ANY SINGULAR ASPECT OF HER LOOKS). KATY PROVIDE JUST ENOUGH OF THESE OTHER QUALITIES FOR THEM TO BE PRESENT AND GET BY. BUT THAT NOT ENOUGH.

THAT WHY PEOPLE FIXATE ON HER BOOBS.

IT THE ONLY THING ABOUT HER THAT CONCRETE AND ABSOLUTE. AND HULK NOT WANT IMPLY IT SOMETHING TO BE DERIDED EITHER. NOT BY LONG SHOT. IT HER BODY AND NO ONE SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF THEIR BODY. C’MON, LOOK AT HULK. HULK GREEN AND 12 FEET TALL. BUT  ON THE SUBJECT OF BODY IDENTITY AND “PERSONA” COMPARE PERRY TO SOMEONE LIKE CHRISTINA HENDRICKS, ANOTHER WELL-ENDOWED LADY OF FAME WHO MANY PEOPLE FIXATE ON… ONLY WITH CHRISTINA THE DISCUSSION ABOUT SO MUCH MORE: SHE AN ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE ACTRESS WHO POSSESSES SO MANY QUALITIES THAT FAR STRONGER THAN HER BODY.

BUT WITH KATY PERRY, HULK YET TO SEE ANY OF THOSE THINGS…

AS LAST PIECE OF EVIDENCE, HULK GOING TO MENTION THAT EVEN HER SINGULAR CAREER CONTROVERSY, THE ONE THAT EARNED HER PERHAPS HER MOST SYMPATHETIC CULTURAL RALLYING CRY = THE NON-AIRING OF THE CLIP SESAME STREET… AND YES IT CENTERED ON HER BOOBS.

THIS THE  INESCAPABLE REALITY OF KATY PERRY’S POP CULTURE EXISTENCE.

ENDOTES:

(i) BANNER SCIENCE! COMMIN AT YA!

(i-a) NOTE. HULK NOT ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO THINK WRITING A “CATCHY BEAT” SOME OBVIOUS INANE THING. IT EXCEEDINGLY DIFFICULT AND WORTHY OF PRAISE. SO WHEN CATCHY RHYTHMS USE TO MAKE THE A MIND TURD OF A SONG, ONE GET INTO WEIRD PARADOX AREA.

(ii) AND NO, WATCHING A VIDEO ON YOUTUBE NOT BEING COMPLICIT. THAT EXPOSURE, THIS MEANWHILE = AN OPEN CELEBRATION.

(iii) UGH. HULK HATE SAYING THINGS LIKE REFERENCING HULK’S “GAY FRIENDS” LIKE THAT DEFINE THEM OR HULK BRAGGING CAUSE HAVE GAY FRIENDS. THAT INSIPID. BUT THE PROBLEM THAT ALL THE WORK AROUND TO SOUND LESS LIKE A DICK ACTUALLY MAKE ONE SOUND WAY MORE PRETENTIOUS. SO RATHER THAT SAY SOMETHING ELSE HULK JUST GOING USE “GAY FRIENDS” AND FOOTNOTE THAT SHIT.

(iv) SO HERE AN INTERESTING DEVIL’S ADVOCATE ARGUMENT TO GIVE AGAINST HULK. BACK IN THE ROCK AND ROLL HEYDAY THEY USED LITERAL ENTENDRE’S TO GET OVER THE MORAL CODE (LOVIN’ MACHINE ETC). AND HULK LOVE OLDIES ROCK N ROLL. ONE CAN ARGUE THERE NO DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE GOALS OF EITHER. HULK FEEL LIKE THERE BIG DIFFERENCES OF INTENTIONS AND THE KINDS OF AUDIENCES THEY TRYING PLACATE BUT THIS A GOOD STARTING POINT FOR ARGUMENT.

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