SUPER 8: GOOD ENOUGH THAT HULK WISH IT WAS BETTER

LET GET ONE THING STRAIGHT: SUPER 8 HAVE QUALITIES THAT TRULY SPECIAL ABOUT IT. FOR ONE, J.J. ABRAMS CONTINUE STREAK OF DIRECTION THE COMPLETELY ASSURED AND IN CONTROL. ALMOST EVERY SINGLE DETAIL PUT TOGETHER WITH IMPECCABLE CARE. ASIDE FROM JJ’S BATSHIT LENS FLARE OBSESSION, EVERY ANGLE, BEAT, AND FRAME CONVEY EQUAL PARTS HUMOR, GRACE, TERROR, OR WHATEVER HE WANT YOU FEEL AT GIVEN MOMENT. THE MAN A GREAT TECHNICAL FILMMAKER AND THERE SO MANY LITTLE THINGS HULK LOVE: THE GRAIN AND TEXTURE OF THE FILM, THE WAY KIDS PRETTY MUCH GOING APESHIT IN THE BACKGROUND ALL THE TIME WITHOUT FEEL TOO FORCED.

BUT THE THING HULK LOVE BEST THAT  COLLECTIVE PERFORMANCE OF THE YOUNG CAST SIMPLY TOP NOTCH. FOR ONE, ELLE FANNING SO UNFATHOMABLY GOOD IN IT. THIS TWO IN A ROW NOW FOR HER AND HULK VERY EXCITED FOR HER FUTURE CAUSE SHE SUBTLY HAVE LOT OF RANGE THAT WILL TRANSLATE NICE INTO OTHER ROLES. JOEL COURTNEY PERFECTLY SERVICEABLE AS THE WIDE-EYED-SWEET-NATURED-EVERYKID THRUST INTO MIDDLE OF EVENTS. THE DIRECTOR KID = BIG BRAZEN HILARIOUSNESS. THERE MARTIN THE ADORABLE FOUR-EYED “ACTOR” THAT LOOK SO MUCH LIKE MARTIN STARR HULK CURIOUS IF IT NOT ON PURPOSE. THERE FIREWORKS KID GET THE BEST LINES AND OFTEN STEAL THE SHOW. AND THE KID WHO HAVE FUNNY FACE AND JUST LOOK-TERRIFIED-ALL-THE-TIME A NICE LITTLE ADDITION. BUT AGAIN, THE MOVIE BELONG TO FANNING. BECAUSE IF SHE NOT KIND AND LUMINOUS THEN THE MOVIE NOT WORK AT ALL.(1)

BECAUSE OF EVERYTHING HULK JUST MENTION, THE MOVIE SEEM BE DOING WELL WITH AUDIENCES. SURE THERE A FEW CONVERSATIONS ABOUT NATURE OF NOSTALGIA… WHICH HULK FEEL LIKE SORT OF THE WRONG CONVERSATION BE HAVING. HULK WORRIED ABOUT THIS OVERT-HOMAGE GOING IN BUT WITHIN TWO SECONDS HULK FULLY ACCEPT IT ON TERMS OF OWN MOVIE. IT PRETTY MUCH NON-ISSUE FOR HULK. SO THAT LEAVE THE ONLY REAL THING THAT THE FEW DETRACTORS TALKING ABOUT = THE PROBLEMS WITH THE SCRIPT.

THEY ABSOLUTELY RIGHT TO DO.

THE SCRIPT SECRETLY A MESS. IT “SECRET” BECAUSE THE FILM SHARP ENOUGH IN VERY AREAS WHERE THE MOVIE ABSOLUTELY NEED IT BE STRONG. THE DIALOGUE = NATURAL, ON-POINT, VERY KID-LIKE,  OFTEN MOVING, AND ALWAYS FUNNY. THE KID CHARACTERS COMPLETELY FLESHED OUT AND MESH WELL TOGETHER. IT JUST THAT A GOOD DEAL OF PROBLEMS RESULT FROM A FEW MIDDLING STORY DECISIONS. EVEN MORE COME FROM CASE OF “WHAT IN WORKS BUT WHAT MISSING?”AND THE BIGGEST PROBLEM COME FROM A CORE IDENTITY CRISIS. BUT THE FILM JUST PLOD THROUGH THESE THINGS FULL-STEAM AHEAD. SURE, IT HAVE ENOUGH MOMENTUM CARRY YOU THROUGH… BUT… THESE STORY PROBLEMS JUST LEAVE VIEWER WITH TINY BIT SENSE OF BEING UNDERWHELMED. A FEELING THAT SOMETHING NOT QUITE RIGHT. FEW WILL TOTALLY REALIZE THEY JUST SAW MOVIE THAT DREADFULLY NOT KNOW WHAT IT EVEN TRYING TO DO.

THIS BOTHER HULK.

PICTURED: HULK BOTHERED

IT BOTHER HULK BECAUSE IT THE KIND OF THING HULK SEE ALL TOO OFTEN. FILMS WITH GREAT, COMPETENT ENERGY YET RIDDLED WITH POOR STORY FOUNDATIONS. NOW, UNLIKE MOST OTHER BLOCKBUSTERS (LET JUST CALL IT THE MICHAEL BAY SCHOOL OF NONSENSE), ABRAMS CRAFT HIS FILMS WITH GENUINE SINCERITY AND GUILE. SO THERE WAY IN WHICH THEY NOT THE SAME TEAM, BUT IN SOME WAYS THEY PLAYING THE SAME SPORT. IT JUST ABRAMS DISTRACTING AUDIENCE WITH WAY, WAY, WAY BETTER FILMMAKING AND OFTEN TIMES MAKING UP FOR IT. IF WANT CONTINUE DUMB SPORTS ANALOGIES ABRAM’S MOVIES BEEN LIKE TEAMS WITH EXCEPTIONAL LINEUP. THEY CAN MASH AND WIN GAMES 12-11 BUT IT NOT HIDING FACT THAT MOST OF TIME THEIR PITCHERS THROWING GARBAGE. IN THIS CASE THE GARBAGE THE BASIC SENSE OF STORYTELLING.

HULK ATTRIBUTE THIS REALITY TO FACT NO ONE HAVE IDEA HOW LOOK AT SCRIPT ANYMORE AND SEE SAME PROBLEMS THAT WILL LATER REGISTER ON SCREEN. MOST SCRIPTS GO THROUGH PRODUCER AND STUDIO NOTES, BUT THE PROCESS OF THESE ROUNDS INCLUSIVE OF SO MUCH NON-STORYTELLING BULLSHIT THAT IT JAW-DROPPING (TRUST HULK). AND QUITE FRANKLY WHAT OFTEN HAPPEN THAT THEY COME UP WITH REALLY GOOD MICRO-SOLUTIONS WHILE NEVER ADDRESSING THE BIG ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM (OFTEN CAUSE THE ELEPHANT SOMEHOW INTRINSIC TO WHY IT GETTING MADE IN FIRST PLACE). EVEN REAL TRUE FILM GEEKS NO SEEM KNOW DICK ABOUT STORYTELLING. SURE, THEY KNOW “SCREENWRITING” AND CAN TELL HULK WHEN SOMETHING OFF IN TERMS OF SCENE CONSTRUCTION, TONE, OR REFERENCE. AND YEAH THEY CAN TELL YOU ALL ABOUT PLOT HOLES A-Z. BUT WHEN COME DOWN TO BASIC STORYTELLING: CHARACTER MOTIVES, STORY ECONOMY, INCLUSION/EXCLUSION, REVEALS, TIMING… THEY NEVER SEEM BE ABLE TRULY ARTICULATE IN SAME WAY THEY CAN THE MORE “CINEMATIC” CONCERNS.

HULK CAN SENSE READER ROLLING EYES AT THIS POINT. HULK OFFICIALLY GOING OVERBOARD WITH THIS STORYTELLING 101 ANGLE LATELY? HULK JUST COMPLAINING TOO MUCH ABOUT PARTICULAR VALUE HULK HAVE FOR MOVIES? OKAY WISE GUY [HULK CRACKIN THE OLE’ SMASHIN KNUCKLES]

WHAT FOLLOW NOT CONTINUATION OF REVIEW BUT  INSTEAD ALL OF HULK’S NOTES/SUGGESTIONS FOR THE MOVIE AND HOW IT SHOULD FIXED MASSIVE PROBLEMS.

AND FAIR WARNING IT DEEPLY, DEEPLY SPOILERY:

BETTER TAKE OFF GLASSES JJ. THIS COULD GET UGLY.

-WHY THE HELL THERE AN ALIEN IN THIS MOVIE?

FOR AN ALIEN MOVIE, IT A STRANGELY LEGIMATE QUESTION. AFTER ALL, FOR LARGE SEQUENCES IN SUPER 8, BASICALLY ALL THE ONES WHERE THEY NOT RUNNING AROUND SCARED FROM LOUD NOISES, THEY DOING THINGS THAT HAVE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING DO WITH THE ALIEN. YOU MAY ARGUE TO HULK THIS THE POINT: THAT THIS REALLY JUST THE STORY OF TWO YOUNG KIDS FALLING IN LOVE AMIDST A GROUP OF MISFIT FRIENDS. HULK THINK YES, THAT THE CORE OF STORY, SO WHY IT REALLY THERE? ESPECIALLY WHEN CONSIDER THAT THE ALIEN REALLY HAVE NO AFFECT ON THEIR STORY. HOW IT CHANGE WHAT HULK DESCRIBED OTHER THAN LEND “PRODUCTION VALUE” TO THEIR SHORT. HECK, EVEN THE LIFE AND DEATH SITUATIONS SEEM HAVE LITTLE AFFECT THEM. IT CERTAINLY BARELY EVEN AFFECT THE DECISIONS THEY MAKE. THEY JUST CONTINUE FILMMING THE NEXT DAY AFTER TRAIN CRASH AS IF NOTHING HAPPEN. MAYBE THIS SOME SORT OF COMMENTARY ON KID NATURE, BUT REALLY IT JUST HIGHLIGHT WHY IT NOT NEEDED. AND LIKE EVERONE IN AUDIENCE, HULK THOUGHT THAT AS KIDS COME CLOSER TO THE ALIEN THAT IT ALL WOULD INTWINE TOGETHER AND IN DOING SO THE POINT OF MOVIE THEN WOULD RESONATE POWERFULLY. INSTEAD WE MEET ALIEN AND HULK TREATED TO JOE’S SHORT DIALOGUE ABOUT HOW BAD THINGS HAPPEN. THE ALIEN DROP THE KID. THEY JOIN TOGETHER. THE ALIEN TAKE OFF IN SHIP. END MOVIE. AS IN LAST FRAME OF STORY.

UM. WHAT? WHAT THIS FILM SUPPOSED BE ABOUT? SURE, AT LAST SECOND THE LOCKET LEAVE JOE’S POCKET TO GO TOO. AS JOE HANG ON THIS MAKE THE ALIEN CLEAR METAPHOR FOR… WHAT? HOPEFULLY NOT JOE’S MOTHER. JOE’S GRIEF MORE LIKELY? THEIR COLLECTIVE GRIEF? ALL THE BAD THINGS THEY DONE TO EACH OTHER? THAT SOUND PRETTY NICE BUT THAT ALSO MAKE NO SENSE AND EACH SUGGESTION DEEPLY INCONSISTENT WITH SOME ASPECT OF THE ALIEN’S “STORY.” AND WHAT MORE THAT JOE PRETTY WELL-ADJUSTED TO HIS MOM DYING ALL THINGS CONSIDERED. SO THAT LOCKET GESTURE NOT FEEL RIGHT OR PERTINENT TO ARC (HULK EXPLAIN THIS BETTER LATER). SO, AGAIN, WHY THE LAST FRAME OF MOVIE FOCUSED ON THEM WATCHING THE ALIEN SHIP LEAVING? TO BE MORE LIKE E.T.? CAUSE THEY LETTING GO THEIR PROBLEMS AND BAD THINGS? GIVE HULK BREAK. THE MOMENT NOT RESONATE OTHER THAN REMINDING US OF OTHER THINGS IT LIKE.

SO HULK ASK, WHY AGAIN THERE ALIEN? THINK OF THIS WAY: IF THE ALIEN HAD NO BEEN THERE, WHAT WOULD HAVE STOPPED JOE AND ALICE FROM FALLING IN LOVE? (WHICH HULK ARGUE THE MAIN PLOT OF MOVIE.)

THE ANSWER = NOTHING WOULD HAVE. IT BARELY EVEN ELEVATE THEM.

–WHY DID THE ALIEN GET AN E.T. ENDING IF THE MOVIE SPEND 3/4 THE RUNNING TIME TREATING IT LIKE JAWS?

THIS ALSO CRUCIAL. IT SEEM LIKE JJ WANT TELL HUMANIZING ALIEN STORY, BUT OBVIOUSLY THAT JUST END UP BEING REMAKE OF E.T. SO INSTEAD JJ CHEAT AND JUST GO HALVSIES. THE MOVIE TREAT THE MONSTER LIKE THIS HORRIBLE THING ATTACKING AND KILLING PEOPLE. THEN IN ONE STUPID BLACK AND WHITE “DHARMA REEL” IT SUDDENLY LIKE “LET ME EXPLAIN EVERYTHING MOMENT” THE MONSTERS HISTORY REVEALED. AND WE TOLD “WE MADE IT LIKE THIS. IT JUST WANT GO HOME.” BUT WE STILL SEE IT ATTACKING FOLKS AND WHEN IT ALL COME TOGETHER IN CLIMAX THE AUDIENCE GET FROM MONSTER… NOTHING REALLY. IT JUST BRIEF EMOTIONAL BEAT ON JOE’S PART, BUT THERE NOTHING FROM THE MONSTER. IT JUST SORT OF SHOW MOMENT OF MERCY (AND LITERALLY OPEN ITS EYES. UGH) BUT THERE NO TRUE HUMANIZING. WHICH ODD CAUSE WE TOLD TOUCHING THE MONSTER AN AMAZING EXPERIENCE WHERE THE PERSON TOUCHED EXPERIENCE WHAT THE MONSTER HAS AND SEES WHAT IT WANTS AND ITS HISTORY. BUT THE AUDIENCE NO EXPERIENCE THIS WHATSOEVER. JOE ACTUALLY THE EXACT SAME BEFORE HE TOUCHED AS HE IS AFTER. AND AS RESULT HULK GIVE NO SHIT ABOUT IT THE MONSTER. NO EMPATHY. NOTHING. THE MONSTER IN THIS MOVIE ALL SOUND AND FURY. AND THEN, NOTHING.(2)

–SO MAKE ALIEN EXPRESSIVE GOD DAMMIT

THE DESIGN OF BOTH THIS MONSTER AND THE ONE FROM CLOVERFIELD BOTH AMAZINGLY DISAPPOINTING. THEY BOTH MULTI-LIMBED SACKS OF AMPORPHOUS GRAY BULLSHIT (AND CONSPIRACY THEORIES ABOUND THAT THEY SAME RACE OF MONSTER. HULK SURE THIS DELIGHT JJ BUT THIS NOT PLEASE HULK CAUSE THEIR CINEMATIC PHYSIOLOGY SUCK EQUALLY AS MUCH).

I CLOVERFIELD MONSTER! I HAUNT DREAMS YOU IMMEDIATELY FORGET!

BUT HERE THE REVEAL OF THE MONSTER SHOULD RESONATE (HULK KEEP USING WORD MONSTER AND ALIEN INTERCHANGEABLY. THIS ACTUALLY ON PURPOSE). THE MONSTER SHOULD BE EXPRESSIVE AND TRUE. WE NEVER FUCKING SEE THIS INHERENT GOODNESS IT SUPPOSED TO HAVE. INSTEAD. WE JUST TOLD. HULK WAGER THE “EYE” REVEAL SUPPOSED TO DO THIS, BUT IT NOT ENOUGH ESTABLISH EMPATHY. IT JUST COME OFF AS BAD SYMBOLIC GESTURE. THE WHOLE SCENE WITH JOE COME OFF LIKE THE BRIEF TAMING OF WILD BEAST, WHICH WOULD BE NEAT AND ALL IF NOT EXPRESSLY STATED THAT THE MONSTER “WAY ADVANCED” AND AGAIN BENEVOLENT AND ALL THAT SHIT. E.T. WORK CAUSE HE EXPRESSIVE. KING KONG WORK CAUSE HE EXPRESSIVE. TOOTHLESS WORK CAUSE HE EXPRESSIVE. LIST GO ON AND ON OF ALL THESE NO-HUMAN CHARACTERS WHO WORK, EVEN IN BRIEF SCENES, CAUSE THEIR AFFECTATION HUMANE AND THEY HAVE A CONNECTION OTHER THAT THE AUDIENCE BEING TOLD THEY GOOD ON INSIDE AND THEY STARED DEAD-EYED AT US FOR ONE SECOND.  EVEN IF YOUR MONSTER HAVE LAST ACT CHARACTER TURN WHERE YOU SUDDENLY WANT HELP IT… IT NEED BE FUCKING EXPRESSIVE. IT’S VERY OWN PAIR OF EYEBALLS NOT ENOUGH.

–IF ANYONE TOUCHED BY THE ALIEN SUDDENLY WANT TO HELP IT, WHY IT NOT HAVE THEM, YOU KNOW, HELP?

HULK THOUGHT THIS OBVIOUSLY WHERE IT GOING. ALL THE PEOPLE CAPTURED WOULD BE HELPING IT REBUILDING SHIP. INSTEAD THEY ALL HUNG UPSIDE DOWN (WHERE THE BLOOD RUSHING TO HEAD THING WOULD SEVERELY INJURE/KILL THEM?) AND THEY KEPT THERE AS WHAT? AND WHY? IT MEANT AS SOME KIND OF HARM? IT MAKE NO RATIONAL SENSE, EVEN LESS NARRATIVE SENSE AND ABSOLUTELY NO THEMATIC SENSE. IT SEEM LIKE JUST ENGINEERED DEVICE TO HAVE JOE GO RESCUE ALICE (THIS WHERE THE CHARMING NATURE OF PERFORMANCE/DIALOGUE WORK ITS WONDERS. WE BLINDED BY JOE’S GREAT “I’M DOING MY BEST TO SAVE YOU” LINE. IT SO GOOD THAT IT JUST SADLY DISTRACT FROM THE LACK OF SENSE EVERYTHING MAKING). THEN, IF JOE AND THE MAIN CHARACTERS ALL SUDDENLY HELPING THE MONSTER AGAINST THE MILITARY, THE MONSTER STILL COULD HAVE BEEN THE AMORPHOUS BIO-SACK THAT JJ WANTED IT BE, AND YET IT WOULD HAVE STILL HELPED HUMANIZE IT FOR EMOTIONAL RESONANCE IN THE FINAL SCENE CAUSE WE “WITH IT” INSTEAD OF “WATCHING IT.”

–MAKE ALICE’S DAD EVEN MORE RESPONSIBLE FOR JOE’S MOM DYING

THIS SLIGHTLY MORE LITTLE THING BUT IT REALLY ANNOYING. IN OPENING WHEN ALICE’S DAD KICKED OUT OF THE WAKE EVERYONE ASSUME IT CAUSE HE DIRECTLY CAUSE THE ACCIDENT THE KILLED JOE’S MOM. INSTEAD WHAT HAPPENED HE JUST GET DRUNK AND MISS SHIFT. MOM TOOK OVER AND HAVE THE ACCIDENT. THIS NOT WORK AS SOME BIG REVEAL TO AUDIENCE THOUGH. IT ACTUALLY JUST ILLICIT A “OH THAT’S ALL MOMENT?” FROM AUDIENCE CAUSE THEY EXPECTING WAY WORSE FROM WHAT PREVIOUSLY ESTABLISHED (ESPECIALLY AFTER THE DAD FORBADE HIM FROM SEEING ALICE. THAT SORT OF A BIG LEAP CAUSE DAD MISSED A SHIFT). THE REAL UNFORTUNATE PART THAT THIS “OH THAT ALL?” MOMENT COME IN THE MIDDLE OF ELLE FANNING’S AMAZING AND EMOTIONAL MONOLOGUE. IT ANOTHER POORLY CONSTRUCTED STORY DETAIL THAT GOT IN WAY OF EVEN BETTER MOMENT. HULK SUPPOSE THEY MADE THIS “SHIFT MISS” CHOICE SO HER DAD NOT SEEM SOOOOOO HORRIBLE… BUT YOU KNOW WHAT MORE HUMANIZING? DEEP, TRUE, INESCAPABLE GUILT. THAT SOMETHING HUMAN. YOU KNOW WHAT SORT OF OFF-PUTTING? A CHARACTER BEING EXISTENTIALLY MOROSE OVER SOMETHING THAT NOT COMPLETELY CALL FOR IT.

–GETTING BACK TO LOCKET THING: WHY THIS MOVIE MAIN THEME ABOUT JOE LETTING GO OF HIS MOM?

THIS TRULY WHAT HULK UNDERSTAND LEAST. BY ALL ACCOUNTS, WE NEVER SEE JOE DEVASTATED BY DEATH OF HIS MOM. HE SAD FOR SURE. HE YOUNG. HE STILL HOLDING ON TO HER (LITERALLY, YOU KNOW, WITH THE LOCKET, GET IT?!?!!?) BUT BY ALL ACCOUNTS HE FUNCTIONAL YOUNG MAN, WHO WELL-ADJUSTED, WHO READY FOR YOUNG LOVE WITH GIRL WHO HE CLEARLY NOT BLAME FOR MOTHERS DEATH (NOR HER DAD)… SO WHAT EXACTLY HE HOLDING ON TO AGAIN? YES, THE DAD CLEARLY HOLDING ON. HE SEEN CRYING FIRST. HE NEVER CLOSE WITH HIS SON. HE NOT KNOW RAISE HIM. THIS ALL CLEARLY ESTABLISHED. BUT THEN HE SPEND ENTIRE MOVIE AWAY FROM HIM. BUT AS FOR JOE? JOE PRETTY MUCH FINE. HIS ARC A LOVE STORY (AND WELL-DONE ONE AT THAT) SO WHY THIS VERY NICE MOMENT WHERE HE LET GO OF THE LOCKET SUPPOSED TO BE THE DEFINING MOMENT OF MOVIE? YES, AGAIN, HE LITERALLY CARRYING IT ALL MOVIE BUT THIS THE ONLY FUCKING WAY HIS MOMS DEATH HAVE AFFECT ON HIM. IT WINDOW DRESSING AND SET-UP FOR THE DAD. SO WHY JOE LETTING GO? IT JUST ONE THOSE THINGS THAT FEEL LIKE NEAT CONVENTION… UNLESS THIS ALL ABOUT HIM GETTING OVER HIS OEDIPUS COMPLEX AND MOVE ON WITH REAL GIRL… BUT THAT MOVIE BE A LOT WEIRDER.

LIKE THIS

–THE MOVIE SHOULD BE ABOUT JOE’S RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS DAD

AND YET IT ABSOLUTELY STAYS AWAY FROM IT. THE ENTIRE DEATH OF MOTHER PLOTLINE CLEARLY MEAN SETTING THIER RELATIONSHIP UP. IT ALL PRECURSOR. SO WHAT HAPPEN? INSTEAD OF HAVING ANY KIND OF ARC WITH SON, THE EXCEPTIONAL KYLE CHANDLER SPEND NEARLY HIS ENTIRE SCREEN TIME RUNNING AROUND DEALING WITH TOWN FOLK PROBLEMS AND THEN BEING SEQUESTERED ON AIR FORCE BASE. YOU MAY SAY TO HULK THAT THE POINT! THEY HAVE NO RELATIONSHIP. RIGHT? YES, BUT THAT JUST ACT 1 SCENE 1. THE MOVIE CLEARLY SUPPOSED TO MOVE ON FROM THERE AND ACTUALLY HAVE ARC. INSTEAD THEY EACH GO HAVE THEIR OWN ADVENTURE (CHANDLER’S SHERIFF ADVENTURES PARTICULARLY SUPERFLUOUS) AND THE ADJUSTMENTS THEY EVEN TRY MAKE COME AT VERY END OF MOVIE WHERE DAD JUST GLAD HE FOUND JOE. THAT IT. HULK GET NO SENSE OF HOW THEY GOING LIVE TOGETHER AND MAKE PEACE. WHICH ALL AUDIENCE WANTED. NO BIG THING. JUST ONE SENSE OF HOW THEIR ARC COULD DO THIS. WHAT A WASTE.

–AND HERE THE ABSOLUTE FINAL BEST SOLUTION FOR SUPER 8: GET RID OF THE ALIEN. MAKE THE MOVIE A KID’S LOVE STORY SET AGAINST GROUP OF FILMMAKING MISFITS IN THE 70’S, AND HIS COMING TO LOVE HIS FATHER.

AND THAT THE REAL RUB, RIGHT? THINGS LIKE LOVE STORY, GREAT ACTING, OBSERVATIONAL NATURALISM, AND EMOTIONAL INVESTMENT OFTEN CONSIDERED JUST THE WINDOW DRESSING FOR SUMMER MOVIES. THE KIND OF STUFF THAT, IF DONE WELL CAN ELEVATE A BLOCKBUSTER TO RARIFIED STATUS OF “CLASSIC.”  INSTEAD SUPER 8 DELIVER THE STRANGEST THING HULK EVER SEEN… A MOVIE WHERE THE BASIC ACTION SCENES THE THING THAT ACTUALLY FEEL OUT OF PLACE. ULTIMATELY, IT IRRECONCIABLE. BUT HOW THIS HAPPEN? HOW SOMETHING COME OUT THIS HALF-BAKED? HULK ACTUALLY HAVE GOOD IDEA…

HULK WILLING TO BET JJ SAT DOWN RIGHT SCARY ALIEN KIDS MOVIE AND ULTIMATELY JUST FELL IN LOVE THE KIND OF STORY HE TELLING ABOUT YOUNG BOY, YOUNG GIRL, AND THE FILM THEY MAKING. THE ALIEN THAT STARTED THE IDEA JUST BECAME SECONDARY AND BECAUSE SO INTERESTED IN THE “SUPER 8” REAL STORY (DO WE GET IT NOW), THE ACTUAL SCI-FI HOOK OF THE MOVIE FELL BY WAYSIDE. IN FACT, HULK WOULD PUT MONEY ON IT.

HULK ASK YOU THIS: WHY ELSE RUN THE CREDITS WITH THE KID’S ZOMBIE FILM IN THERE? HULK THINK THIS THE TRUE END OF THE MOVIE AND AN ABSOLUTE DELIGHT. BUT ESPECIALLY AFTER THE CUT-SHORT ENDING WHERE EVERYONE WATCH THE ALIEN LEAVE, HULK GO ONE BETTER: IT NOT JUST AFTERTHOUGHT, IT THE REAL CLIMAX OF THE ONLY STORY ABRAMS INTERESTED IN. IT CERTAINLY THE ONLY STORY THE AUDIENCE INTERESTED IN. THE SECOND IT CAME UP AFTER FIRST FEW CREDITS THE ENTIRE AUDIENCE CHEERED IN EXASPERATION JUST DELIGHTED THEY GOT NOT THIS “EXTRA-BIT” BUT THE THING THEY WANTED FROM STORY MOST OF ALL.

IT WAS WHAT THEY WAITING FOR.

SO TELL HULK, WHAT MOVIE WAS JJ REALLY MAKING?

HINT: IT THIS ONE

IN CONCLUSION(3) HULK WANT TURN ATTENTION TO ATTACK THE BLOCK TO MAKE FINAL POINT TO READER. AND THAT FINAL POINT THAT YOU SHOULD GO SEE ATTACK THE BLOCK (IF NO HAVE SEEN) INSTEAD OF SUPER 8 THIS WEEKEND. DON’T WORRY, THE FILMS VERY, VERY SIMILAR. THEY BOTH ABOUT 5 YOUNG FRIENDS WHO DISCOVER AN OUTWARD SUPERNATURAL THREAT. EACH FILM MIXES THEIR KID-CENTRIC “I’M INVINCIBLE!” APPROACH WITH MOMENTS OF “HOLY-SHIT!” TERROR. EACH FILM IS FUNNY, WARM, AND WELL OBSERVED. BOTH FILMS HEAVILY INDEBTED TO AMBLIN.

BUT  SUPER 8 A MOVIE MEANT AS DIRECT HOMAGE (AND WITH THE BEARD HIMSELF WORKING ON IT, DO THAT MAKE IT A MASTERBATOMAGE?(4)) WHEREAS ATTACK THE BLOCK A SINGULAR FILM THAT INSTEAD INVOKE THE SPIRIT AND INNOVATION OF AMBLIN. INSTEAD OF SPIELBERG, THEY VEER MORE TOWARDS THE LESS-TREAD-ON JOE DANTE AND GREMLINS. BUT MORE THAN JUST THIS INDEPENDENCE, ATTACK THE BLOCK A FILM THAT SIMPLY WORK MUCH, MUCH, MUCH BETTER ON ALL LEVELS.  HULK ALREADY GONE INTO DEEPLY THE AMAZING THEMATICS THAT RESONATED WITH HULK, BUT MORE SPECIFICALLY IT A FILM THAT SEEMLESSLY INTEGRATE THE ALIEN PLOTLINE SEEMLESSLY INTO THE RICH TEXTURED THEMATICS. THE TWO CAN NO BE INDEPENDENT OF THE OTHER. THEY BOTH THE DIRECT CAUSE OF ONE ANOTHER. IT CALLED STORYTELLING. EVEN MORE SPECIFICALLY ATTACK THE BLOCK KNEW HOW 3RD ACT “HUMANIZE” THEIR ALIENS WITHOUT THEM LOSING THEIR EDGE OR FEROCITY. SOMETHING THAT JJ TRIED DO WITHOUT KNOWING HOW.

SO WHY SUPER 8 GONNA MAKE LOTS OF MONEY AND ATTACK THE BLOCK NOT? PROBABLY THE NAMES AND THE SUPPORT BEHIND EACH. BUT TAT OBVIOUS. STILL, THERE ACTUALLY A BIGGER TRUTH UNDER THAT… THE FOLLOWING HULK BELIEVE BE ABSOLUTE FACT: EVEN IF BOTH FILMS GOT THE SAME AMOUNT MARKETING AND COVERAGE, MORE PEOPLE GO SEE SUPER 8 CAUSE OF ATTACK THE BLOCK STAR BLACK KIDS TALKING IN ENGLISH ACCENTS AND THAT “LESS APPEALING” FOR SOME HULKFORSAKEN REASON.

… THOSE PEOPLE WOULD BE MISSING THE FILM THAT ABSOLUTELY SUPERIOR.

TRUTH

ENDNOTES:

(1) THIS COMMENT SORT OF PUT HULK IN SINGULAR-MOVIE-OPINION-EXISTENTIAL-CRISIS… THAT CAUSE LET BREAK 4TH WALL AND ACKNOWLEDGE THAT ELLE FANNING A 13 YEAR OLD GIRL AND SHE PLAYING THE AUDIENCE’S LOVE INTEREST.  NOW HULK SAY TIME AND TIME AGAIN HULK HATE HOW EVERY MOVIE ABOUT YOUNG-KID-LOVE STAR ACTORS WHO LIKE 19 YEARS OLD. HULK FIND IT DISHONEST AND HULK ALWAYS CLAMORED FOR MORE MOVIES STARRING KIDS WHO ACT AND FALL IN LOVE LIKE KIDS DO… YOUNG KIDS DESERVE THOSE KINDS MOVIES ESPECIALLY… YET NOW THAT HULK, WELL, OLDER, SUPER 8 ILLUMINATE HULK ON WHY THERE MAY BE PROBLEMS WITH THIS. IT NOT LIKE THERE ANY EXPRESS REASON HULK SAY THIS. THERE NO SEXUALIZATION TO FANNING CHARACTER WHATSOEVER. AND THERE NO SEXUAL ATTRACTION BECAUSE SHE VERY MUCH 13 YEAR OLD GIRL. THE MOVIE NOT DOING THE MUCH MORE HORRIBLE THINGS IN WAY OF SEXUALIZATION THAT LOTS TV/ ACTUAL CULTURE DO… BUT THE PROBLEM THAT THE AUDIENCE ABSOLUTELY FALL IN LOVE WITH HER. YESM THE AUDIENCE ACTUALLY JUST GOING BACK TO JOE’S 13 YEAR OLD CHARACTER * BUT STILL THERE STRANGE “ADULT” (MEANING MATURE) FEELING ELEMENT TO THEIR RELATIONSHIP AND HER BEHAVIOR AND THE AUDIENCE’S PLACE IN IT. THIS IN LARGE PART A TESTAMENT TO ASSURED DIRECTION OF ABRAMS. HULK NEVER ONCE JUST FEEL LIKE THEY “WATCHING KIDS PLAY FALLING IN LOVE.” IT MORE THAN THAT…. AND IT JUST THAT  ADULT HULK UNSURE WHAT DO WITH IT.

*HULK’S FEMALE READERS CHIME IN. WERE YOU IN ELLE’S SHOES? DID YOU LIKEWISE FALL IN LOVE WITH YOUNG JOE LAMB?

(2) HULK REALIZE THIS MONSTER BEING ALL SOUND AND FURY MAY FIT NICELY IN THE MONSTER REPRESENTING EVERYONE’S GRIEF/FURY AGAIN BUT HULK NO GO THAT FAR. AGAIN, IT SOUND NICE BUT CONSIDERING THE NATURE OF THE CHARACTERS WRAPPED UP IT (SPECIFICALLY JOE AND THE OTHER KIDS) IT NO REALLY WORK. IT MAY WORK BETTER FOR THE PARENTS BUT THEY TOO THINLY DEVELOPED FOR THIS WORK ALONG THOSE LINES.

(3) THIS ONE OF THOSE THINGS NEVER SUPPOSED SAY. IN ALL TRUTH HULK FORGOT ABOUT IT. NOW HULK THINK THAT SORT OF DUMB REALITY SO HULK BRINGING ON COMEBACK TOUR.

(4) THAT’S HORRIBLE BUT IT’S ALL HULK GOT AT THIS LATE HOUR.